Play-Doh Politics

For those who seek to bring the Kingdom to Earth,

I need to premise this with two statements.

1. I am so broken. If you know me at all, you know that I have always talked so much about not being a liberal or conservative, and instead being a follower of Jesus that aligns his political views based on Jesus’ teachings, but there are so many lies within my own words. My heart is weak and it has been so corrupted by the political discourse that plagues our society. I am prideful, arrogant, individualistic, and spiritually frail. I am so deeply broken enough to the point that being right sounds better than trying to align my heart with Jesus. How messed up is that? I’ve missed the point. If this was an archery contest I probably would have accidently shot the judge that sits in the exact opposite direction from the target at least 5 times by now.

2. Now that you understand my heart a little better, please stop for a second and lay aside every bit of political agenda you may have when reading this (I guess that's impossible, but at least try). Set aside your hatred, set aside your fears and discomforts, all the biases you may have, and lovingly pray for both presidential candidates in an equal way - desiring for both of them to fully know the love and peace of Jesus. Pray out of love for both of them equally. Please, right now, close your eyes, breathe, and pray.

Sweet. I’m going to ask you to that a few times because I know how heated we can get about these things.

Now. Onto the good stuff:

We live in a polarized society. Within this political context we are divided between the Republicans and Democrats, liberals and conservatives, socialists and capitalists, advocates for big government and small government. Within the context of faith, the entire church has been disconnected. A culture of disunity pervades the relationship between the evangelicals and social justice activists, fundamentalists and progressives, individualists and collectivists, and so on and so forth. And because we have interwoven American electoral politics with our faith, the gap between the two sides is only perpetuated. Because our religious identities have become lost in our fundamentally flawed political identities, our church has become divided and our vision for the Kingdom of God is corrupted. I am writing this because I was recently bashed in head by my own pride within the political discourse of America, and because I’m finally starting to somewhat scratch the surface, starting to understand what it means to combine the love of Jesus with the chaos of American politics and I’m finally starting to really discover that there is another choice in this polarized world, a choice that can’t be contained by the oppressive box of American political ideology and the polarizing vernacular that comes with it. There is something deeper to this discussion, and it starts at a fundamental level - with our own personal crap.

Honestly, I really dislike the discourse of American politics, especially within faith communities. Well, not in theory, just the form that the practice of this discussion has taken. From the within the church, to the academic world, to the chaotic realm of social media, I disdain political discussion between people of faith.  There is a depth that is missing in these discussions of policy and ideology. I seldom hear a person arguing politically out of a pure, unadulterated love for the people whom they are speaking to - whether for or against. Think about the discussions that you have had, the jokes you have made, the one-sided articles and Facebook statuses you have read, what is the heart behind these words? When Obama is speaking against Romney’s policies, no matter what they may be, I don’t hear words that are spoken from a heart that seeks to love and serve broken people and broken situations. I don’t hear a humble heart that wants the best for Romney and for those who support him. And the same goes with Romney when he speaks against Obama. And same holds true with the supporters of either candidate. In snide facebook remarks against either party, I don’t hear open minds and open hearts that desire to love the widows and the orphans of our time. I don’t hear broken, humble hearts that understand the depth of God’s love for His people and His desire for them to know the hope that the Kingdom can bring. That’s the point, right? For people of faith, that’s the only point of this entire political discussion - to make God’s love known and to make manifest that love through public policy.

This has hit me hard in the last week, because I know that I too get so easily entangled in my own pride and corrupted biases. Every time a Romney supporter makes a comment on Facebook that bashes Obama and his supporters or lifts Romney up to be the savior of America I get so frustrated and annoyed. I scoff at their arrogance and blame them for any degrading stereotypes that other nations have about America, but every time an Obama supporter makes fun of Romney I laugh obnoxiously and fully support it. In every discussion I have with a Romney supporter I immediately jump to the side against him not out of love for the individual, Romney, and the people of America, but out of pride, and because for whatever reason, I aligned my heart with the liberal agenda years ago and it is now unfortunately the lens that I look through. The political glasses that I wear have been made by liberals and they only blind me from my own pride. They shove love to the peripheral and install my pride, masquerading liberalism, at the center. Conservative glasses are not different. Any glasses that are not intricately and specifically constructed by Jesus and that are not made for the purpose of seeing His Kingdom transcend all Earthly things need to be snapped in half and thrown in the trash.

I’m going to use the example of the never ending debate between big government and small government. First off, stop again. Breathe for a second. Pray. And meditate on the heart of Jesus for a couple minutes... Now, do you really think Jesus cares how big or how small our government is? Did His rhetoric ever include how big or how small our government ought to be? Or is this all just another lens? On Palm Sunday the Jews thought him to be the one that would release them from Roman captivity, but instead, he wept for them, because they didn’t get it. Because that’s not how they could know peace. Peace is not dependent on how big or how small our government is. A smaller government will mean larger corporations that control the so called “free market,” which means more power for a fundamentally broken system, a bigger government means more power in another fundamentally broken system. Both systems are so broken, and so I truly, genuinely, with all my heart believe that if our faith is so heavily weighed upon either of these two choices, then we entirely miss the point - which is to make sure that people know the love of God and the beauty is a relationship with him. The point is to bring His Kingdom to Earth.

Answer me this, when you talk about getting our country out of 16 trillion in debt, what are your main priorities? When you speak for or against homosexual marriage, abortion, big/small government, military budgets, etc is your primary focus to ensure that people experience and know the profound, crazy stinkin’ awesome love of Jesus, or is it based on your personal culture that has been shaped by your upbringing, surroundings, and past/current relationships. Is it based on a desire to see His Kingdom on Earth, or is it based on a discomfort for specific terminology such as “hand outs,” socialism, capitalism, big corporations, freedom, military, Iraq, global warming, etc? Just stop for a second and search through the past to see if your opinions have in any way, shape, or form been talked about out of pride, arrogance, your internal/external culture, personal discomforts, or anything else that is not intrinsically woven by Jesus. Because as faith-oriented as my arguments can sound sometimes, I sure as hell know that well over half of the political words that come out of my mouth are made because I have very little understanding of humility.  

Here’s my incredibly cheesy analogy: I have this image of one of those cool plastic playdo (the gooshy cool stuff) shapes that you can put plato into so that it will mold into a specific shape, like a jedi warrior or something rad like that. In this analogy our experiences, culture, influences, etc manufacture the plastic shape which is our political idendity, and the world hands us a bunch awesome, new playdo which are the issues of the world that are being discussed. I think that for most of us, prior to/during college, our political identities are manufactured into a little plastic elephant or donkey. Our opinions on policy is the playdo animal that comes out after being pressed into the shape. We talk a lot about a lesser of two evils, but bottom line is that we don’t really care which is one less evil. How can a playdo donkey or elephant be evil? We just want our playdo to look more like an elephant or donkey. Sure, because we’re children we have the capability to use dainty scissors to cut away certain angles and edges to make it look a little more like we want it to, but ultimately it’s still an elephant or a donkey. I truly believe that Jesus wants to melt our little immature plastic toys that are our political identities and manufacture something entirely more awesome... like a jedi... but better. He wants to make something entirely new, more beautiful, more conducive to His love, and more constructive for His Kingdom.

As people of faith it is imperative that we start looking inward on our own personal stuff going on in our hearts (you know, the kind of stuff that we hate facing) before we start swan diving into these political discussions, because all the junk inside of us not only corrupts our political opinions, but also our hearts which only leads to the corruption and disunity of our Church. I yearn to see the church united as one body of Christ that prayerfully, creatively, intelligently, passionately, whimsically (to totally steal a good Bob Goff term), and whole heartedly pursues the Kingdom of God in our own communities, our country, and the world at large. Oh man oh man oh man if the sound of that doesn’t get your blood boiling in a good way I don’t know what will! I know I’m a total idealist, but wouldn’t that be so stinkin’ beautiful!

Anyways, There is something way different to choose from in this political debate, and it has way less to do with who controls our government than we think, because in the wise words of my dear friend, Ryan Hamill, Jesus has total control over it anyways. How awesome is that?

Please, if you have any questions, comments, additions, problems, or if you just want a good conversation about anything I just talked about, or about anything at all really, feel free to call me
704-280-9840. I would love to hear your perspectives.

Grace and Peace,

Phillip

Another Contribution to the KONY 2012 Discussion.

Before I make the giant leap into the mass Invisible Children discourse, I have to provide a disclaimer to assure that my words are not interpreted out of the context of what I believe: I am NOT on either side. I am NOT anti-Invisible Children, nor am I an advocate for many of their campaigns. The volunteers, staff, and supporters of Invisible Children with whom I have interacted are some of the most passionate, caring, and strong-willed individuals I have had the pleasure of meeting. In many respects, Invisible Children has had a profoundly positive effect on the development of Northern Uganda for the last ten years. But over the last few years I have noticed that something is off. There seems to be this strictly linear equation implemented into the ideology of Invisible Children and their followers: social media + trendiness = “change the world” (which is currently probably the trendiest statement in existence). This equation can also be reversed: change the world + social media = trendiness. These equations have drawn a very vague line between those who yearn to see legitimate, sustainable change, and those who want thousands of friends to like their status.

Because Invisible Children has drawn this line so faintly, it’s impeccably easy to find yourself on the trendy side. That’s exactly where I was. And often times I still find myself there. I want to be a part of a movement. I want to be admired for fighting off the oppressors and appreciated for bringing justice to the world. And it wasn’t until I was asked very specific questions about myself and social justice that this line was even revealed. But I learned that it is crucial to recognize that this way of thinking makes these movements more about me than anyone else. KONY 2012 is often just tagline for individualized self-promotion. I know this because I used THE RESCUE for the same purpose three years ago. But if we are going to see a dramatic shift in the direction of Uganda, then we cannot afford to overlook our own social and emotional biases from the issue itself. We have connected them, and we must recognize the connection and figure out our own crap before we can enter into the realm of Ugandan social justice because it goes much deeper than Kony.

QUESTIONS

Both myself and my family has spent a significant amount of time living in Uganda, and in our time there we learned very quickly that in order to find ourselves ever promoting any kind of sustainable change within the communities, we have to ask questions first. A lot of questions. And the troubling aspect of this KONY 2012 movement is that the overwhelmingly controlling question of the campaign is “How do we get rid of Kony?” And people are blindly following this thought without any question. I fully agree that Kony is an awful man who has done awful awful things, but if you ever want to see legitimate change in Uganda, a lot more questions are to be asked, such as…

1. - Who is the President of Uganda? What is he like?

2. - Why does he support Invisible Children?

3. - Why did Joseph Kony start a rebel army 26 years ago?

4. - Why do you support Invisible Children? (Think of something different aside from “I want to change the world” and “saving African children.”)

5. - What happens after Kony is dead?

WE ALL WANT JUSTICE. We all want Uganda to see drastic change. But in order for this to happen we must start asking different questions. We must look at the root of the issues, because the fact of the matter is that as long as there is a President like Yoweri Musevini in office, there will always be men like Joseph Kony trying to overthrow them. Although I love the hearts and intentions of IC, I think they have a very surface level approach to issues of justice and consequently ignore and even SUPPORT more fundamental issues that pervade the entire country of Uganda with corruption and injustice.

Did you know that Musevini has had thousands of peaceful protestors tier gassed, and brutally beaten for walking to work instead of driving in protest rising gas prices? Did you know that Musevini has had many opposing party leaders beaten and imprisoned under false claims? Did you know that when the UK gave 70 million euros of financial aid to the country, Musevini spent 30 MILLION OF IT on a private jet while the entire country is facing devastating economic poverty? Did you know that during election season he openly bribes millions of citizens for their votes with a bag of rice? Did you know that the people are scared to speak about him in public because they are afraid of being killed? Did you know that Uganda’s military, the force which Invisible Children openly supports, has been countlessly accused of acts of rape and looting? (Oyston, Grant). Did you know that Kony’s intentions have always been to overthrow the Ugandan government? Like I said, Kony is an awful awful man who has done awful awful things that God can only forgive, but his Hitler-like celebrity status has indirectly awarded Musevini with a badge of honor and a pat on the back for putting up strong fight against Kony, and consequently, his actions are ignored. Unfortunately, culture and politics are the roots of this pervasive issue and if we view the country with strict, narrowly focused tunnel vision fixed upon Kony, then Uganda will never see the peace that they hope for.

Injustice is an infection that has spread throughout Uganda without any intention of healing itself. But the healing that is necessary will not come from killing Kony, nor will it come from you or me. We are only trendy bandaids put over an amputated leg. The true healing will come from the people of Uganda. Healing will come when we humbly accept our role as servants not saviors. We have yet to explore the possibility that the people of Uganda are fully capable of bringing justice to their country in the ways that they see fit. Our only purpose is to come alongside them, listen to them, and support them in their process of leading their country out of their brokenness.

A Good Ol Village Visit

Isaac

Two and a half years ago I took my first trip to this beautiful country, forever changing the way I view life through the experiences and relationships that she graciously offered to me. There was one friendship in particular that my friends and I still share stories about. His name is Isaac. Two and a half years ago we spent a week doing construction in a local village, Mbiko, but we high schoolers on the trip didn't do a tone of the construction part of it. We were way too eager to spend time with the people and learn from their culture and way of life... and well... let's just be honest we really just wanted to play with the kids.

We spent hours at the football field (soccer field, but I'm trying to get in the habit of using the term that the ENTIRE rest of the world uses for the sport) at the top of the village playing, laughing, running, talking, and eating waaayyyy too much sugar cain (which we picked from the local fields) for our own good. There was one particular teenager that got our attention, mostly because he kept offering Steph Rocco and Kelly McBride more and more chickens, goats, and cows for either's hand in marriage, but when we sat down to really discuss this boys life he could not stop expressing his desire to have an education and his love for art, but wasn't able attend school because his family could not afford the expense. This, unfortunately, is the status of thousands of children in this area. Kelly and Steph went back determined. After talking to various people back in California they found a sponsor for Isaac! And that was the last I ever heard of this kid. I knew he was safe, sound, and educated because he was sponsored, but I had no idea of his whereabouts and frankly thought I would never see him again...

... Until he showed up at our front door today. What was supposed to be a quick visit to ask my mom a simple question about his sponsorship turned into 2 and a half hours of catching up and discussing his passion for art. Over and over he would say "I've missed you all so much! I thought I'd never see you again, How is Kelly? and Stephanie? I thank them so much for finding me sponsor!" It seemed a if every five minutes he expressed his surprise to see me and with great joy, the feeling was mutual. He poured out his love for art and painting and the spark it ignited in his soul. And when he pulled out all of his drawings from his bag, his face expressed the same excitement that came from a 5 year old telling his mother he learned how to ride his bike with no training wheels. It is both his escape and his connection to the world around him. It's his way to release the pain, frustrations, and joy; and also to connect with and analyse the details of the world that no one else may see so easily.

And let's just be honest, it was pretty cool having him remember all of us after all this time and on Thursday he is taking me back to his village to see some old friends there. Needless to say, I'm pretty stoked about Isaac.

For all you Californians

Well, I've been in Uganda 6 days now so this post is long over due. Since the moment I stepped foot on to the plane heading straight for good ol' LAX I knew that writing this was not only a desire of mine, but a necessity. It's necessary for me to take the time to write about the importance of community and the blessing it has been in my life. I don't speak of necessity as if it's a burden to my time or as if it's something that I HAVE to do, but after dedicating a week to a community that can't be described as anything other than spell-binding - I feel that each day spent with out writing a proper 'Thank You' would just be terrible manners... and quite frankly almost an insult to such community.



I just realized that if you read that last bit with a English accent it will sound much more fitting.



Anyways!... So I made it. I finally made my way back the place that fed me such beautiful instability in my way of viewing the world. The only place I've ever been tempted to call home after only 2 weeks. The place that I've considered my lifeline to sanity (or what many of you have once viewed as insanity) for the past two and a half years: Jinja, Uganda! and for the first time in all my my visits here - I miss home.

It's cliche and can be a total cop-out, but honestly, after a spending a week back in Danville I realized the full extent of the importance of these people in my life. Now, people have been telling me for years that I will barely keep in touch with friends from high school and I approached the first three years of my high school career with that attitude that reflected those words, but after witnessing many other high school and post high school communities I realized that there was something special to mine. My life hasn't really ever been considered a path of stability - mostly of my own doing... actually... completely of my own doing, but anyways, through all this all-over-the-place-ness that is my life I can rest in knowing that those crazy Californians will always provide a place to call home. There is a strength in both integrity and in unity through out my group of friends back home that I find to be very unique (and that's also coming from some outsiders perspectives too) and that will never go unappreciated. So, in every sense of the phrase - thank you, Danvillites for being the best/strongest/most unique/most definitely most ridiculous community I've ever had the blessing of being a part of. I could sit here for hours ranting my insane love and respect for ya'll.



www.axisofdville.com/thatincludesanyoneindanvilleiveeverthrownafrisbeewith/thatsalotoffreakinpeople.hellamobbinfornightsdays.hella/imissyallmorethanamberwouldmisspeoplecallingherprettyiftheystoppedformorethanfiveminutes.



Also! I want to make a big shout out to our favorite Lebanese wonders of the world and Mamma and Pappa bear and all their atterbear cubs - I couldn't be more thankful for ya'll being gracious enough to host me as a part of your families last week. If there's anything you need from me - do not hesitate for an instant to let me know how I can be of service. I'll always be there for ya'll in whatever you need just as you have been for me. If any of you lovely readers ever cross paths with a member of either of these two families - just attack them with a hug and say it's from me.

Too tired to actually think.

Ok, so there's a lot to reflect on and a lot I've learned in the past 3 weeks, but unfortunately Californian and Ugandan schedules have not offered me the courtesy of free time and everytime I sit down at night to write any kind of thoughtful reflection of Denver, California, or Uganda, my eyelids start to feel like deadweights and the humidity starts to take hold over my consciousness.

In shorter words: I have not forgotten about you wonderful readers! There are many topics to be discussed in the near future!

Grace and Peace,
Philly G-Love (name given in courtesy of DJ Ozzy K)

Sam

The Gap Year crew spent the evening at Sam's house. We watched a movie, ate dinner, talked about life... Normal, right? Wrong. Sam and his family reside in West Denver which a predominately hispanic/low-income section of the city. From the outside he is a stereotype - even he will attest to that. His appearance molds perfectly to just about every one of our stereotype images of a hispanic gang member. I'm only speaking truth because I mean, if we're truly honest with ourselves - we all have that stereotype image in the back of our heads. But what most would not guess is that he is also a man of brilliance, compassion, committment and strength like that of which I rarely see. That... AND he has one of the sickest low-riders I've ever seen.

Him and his homies had us over for dinner tonight so that we may stand in a community where the unthinkable happens. Where violence is in an inevitable part of their week; a place where cops are constantly oppressing the citizens they swore to protect because to them - just about every hispanic male is a molds to a generalization. This is a place where the people work hard, but have little; where they are surrounded by gang activity; where there is so much need, but I can't do a damn thing about it.

After checking out his low-rider car projects, which he put together, and talked about his new idea for designing and marketing a low-rider BMX bike, we went inside to watch a movie called La Mission. This movie was intended to give us a clearer picture of their community and the life they have proudly chosen to embrace. Sam and his family have immerced themselves in this community. It's where he is from, what he knows best, and where he knows he is supposed to be. I could go on about the life of Sam, the people he loves and all those who love him, the way he spends his days, and the amount of respect we owe to men like him, but for the sake of your time I'll just close with what he taught me tonight.

He ended tonight with very powerful words. He said that (not word-for-word) "you guys are about to leave, and maybe never come back, but we... we're here to stay." We were about to leave and put it all behind us, making everything that had happened nothing but a memory, but he was there, in that community, to give all of who he is to the people and to his family. He gave us an invitation to never forget what we had experienced, but to make those moments a part of who we are. His ministry is not with an organization or not profit, it's just being a member of a community - sharing in their pain and in their weaknesses, taking on their burdens - that's his ministry... and his life. It's a lesson that I must carry with me as I enter into so many different communitites this year. I can not walk away from any place without carrying a little piece of them with me. A piece that my keeps my heart breaking for their pain, and rejoicing in their blessings.

Victims

I've realized my heart for victims - people that are oppressed by a higher power working for their own personal gain. Today I saw the impact of a victims story. I'm not allowed to share any specifics due to the fact that details are confidential and considering all of this is online I am not permitted to share much of anything except for the fact that a client of JAMLAC has had their U-Visa approved which allows this family to create a whole new path for themselves. This new ability to achieve citizenship has completely re-shaped the future of this family and all I can say is thank God for the staff at JAMLAC who have invested so much of their love into this family to work through the oppressive immigration system that is set up in our nation.

I witnessed the start of an entirely new direction for an entire family whose past would make any man or woman cringe due to thoughts of how horrifying humans beings can be to one another. I don't really have much more to say - mostly because I can't, but I will say that today I witnessed change - complete irreversible, undeniable, God-driven change in a family and it was one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen.

Good Will Hunting Not Realistic?

Every Wednesday I help out at Joshua Station's (transitional housing center) youth group for the high school residents. Last night we watched Good Will Hunting and after the movie was over, the leader, Ben, asked everybody what they thought. Karen, a more reserved, incredibly sweet 17 year old hispanic girl replied "I dunno.. it just didn't seem real." Ben, being a little confused turned to her and asked "Why do you say that?" And very quickly, and said as if we should've known, Karen snapped back, "Because he was white!!" ... it was hilarious. That is all.

The Value of a Man's Dignity

I was asked the other day what I've learned the most in past month and this is the compile of memories that immediately came to mind...

Jeff Johnson is the Executive Director of Mile High Ministries which is essentially the overall umbrella ministry for which we are all working. He teaches one of our classes every Monday which essentially can only be described as a streets smart class with a strong emphasis on the biblical perspective of urban poverty and city life. Two weeks ago something in particular stuck with me in his class and has had a profound impact on the way I see and interact with the poor. We discussed our train of thought when we encounter the homeless and specifically pan-handlers our usual tendencies when crossing the path of the poor.

Example: You're walking down the street and cross the path of a man. He embodies the word "filthy" - even makes my usual shower habits appear as healthy. Hair in dreads, body untastefully tattooed, clothes not exactly made for Nordstrums Spring Catalogue, and as your pase quickens to pass by him as quickly as possible his mouth speratically utters a few words that shake off a few of the many dirt crums stuck in his unkempt beard. What I usually tend to do is pretend to stare off into space and pretend to have no knowledge of his existence except for maybe that one moment when your gaze meets his and you are forced to awkwardly extend a semi-cordial nod his way while purposefully ignoring the reality that he has something to say to you. Whether or not you can understand him is irrelevent because either way he is unheard. Either way an assumption is made of who he is, what he wants, and especially what he needs. I assume that I know what is necessary for this man to "succeed;" for him to "make something of himself." And thus my pre conceived bias drives me to no longer treat him as a man with value, but someone who is lacking what I THINK might be missing in his life.

Here is the moral of the story: When you listen to this man, when you take the time to connect and try to get on his level for 10 minues, and when you give him the chance to TELL YOU what he needs and what he really wants, you give him back his dignity and respect as a human being who has the ability to decide for himself what he needs. It's those little things that allow one to build a genuine relationship with this man - one from which both him and yourself can grow as equal human beings together.

Whoa Whoa Whoa Slow This Down!

For many of you that title brings up very significantly specific and memorable events in your life along with the never ending joy that comes from hearing those words being spoken from the mouth of Mr. Busboom and sung from the pipes of that "American Jr." we all know and love - Grace Leer. Tonight those words are SCREAMING from my head back to the never ceasing class 6 river rapids that have been my past two weeks of living here in Denver. My life these days seems to only consist of either monumental experiences/relationships redefining or building the way I view myself, the poor, and just about everyone with whom I come in contact; or it's a crazy adventure that explodes my love for the blessed state of Colorado! Over the next couple days I will be posting more blog entries on various topics I have been facing and crazy awesome events that have taken place. I will essentially be "slowing down" a little bit and allow you to take a closer look into my experiences and in doing so allow myself to restore a little bit of sanity and process what has been stirring in my head over these past few weeks. Right now I will leave you with this - I am exactly where I'm supposed to be.

Gotta wake up early for staff meeting so good-night all!

Law Firm.... ?

So this will be a long one, but it's a good look into what my Denver experience will look like...

Graffiti wall outside of JAMLAC --->

As a part the Gap Year program we are all required to take part in various internships through out the city of Denver. Mile-High Ministries (www.milehighmin.org) has set us up with endless connections into the many fields of inner-city ministry through out the area from which we are able to pick our internships. After careful consideration I chose to give myself a very pleasantly uncomfortable position at a law firm known as JAMLAC (Justice and Mercy Legal Aid Clinic). JAMLAC works for those under the poverty line who would otherwise have no where to go with their legal issues. Now I know what ya'll are thinking: "Phil Gibson... ? Law Firm? That doesn't even make sense!" And trust me - I am very well of that fact. I spend the majority of my intern hours at a desk filing cases and attending meetings. All of my past ministry experience has involved playing music, throwing kids around in the air - basically acting like a big 5 year old (don't worry, it's a part of me that is still very well in tact), but everything I've done has been relationally based so this whole Law thing is about as far outside of my comfort as I could get.

When choosing to take part in this Gap Year program one of my strongest train of thoughts was that I'm only 19 years old - what's the hurry? I need to experience as much of the world as I can before I take the educational step that could shape the course of my career. With this thought of new experiences I figured it would be a good idea to plunge into realm of long desk hours and dauntingly long computer tasks.

I'm not allowed to reveal too much information about the specifics of cases that I have worked with, but I'll try to give you as much insight as I can into what JAMLAC is about - We mostly work immigration and domestic violence cases for people below the poverty line. The immigration cases mostly involve working to give abused woman access for a U-Visa. The purpose of U-Visas is to give victims of certain crimes (mostly domestic violence) a temporary legal status and allow them to work in the U.S. for up to 4 years. This also allows them better access to getting citizenship. The stories I have heard have haunted my perception of the capabilities of human beings. Before coming here, experience has taught me to have more faith in the good of humanity rather than the evil, but the cases I have worked with have given me a heavy reminder of the terror that some are willing to unleash upon the innocent. But JAMLAC is in the business of providing hope for the downtrodden. I have seen how much so many of the poor and the broken need legal representation and not just a hug following an openly sincere "How are you?" Feeling the love is important, but being picked up so that they can run their own race is truly what they need.

Overall - it's one of the best learning experiences of my life.

Trevor Hall

So I have just been introduced to a new artist who has recently taken a never ending position as the constant sound track to my life - whether is coincides with my life or not. His name is Trevor Hall. He's one of the very few that can make a voice crack work for him so ya'll bes' be appreciatin' This is a verse to his song "My Baba" and it seems like every time I heard it, I have to stop whatever activity or emotionally occupying situation I'm in and retune myself with this verse - it restores a wittle bit of my sanity every time. It's kinda cheesy and generic, but I'm ok with it because it strongly coincides with how I think this year is supposed to be lived out.

Yes I decide this is the callin

No more rascallin'

Reach and grab the hand of the friend of the fallen

Queen's on the island, but we'll jump the ocean

Gonna build a bridge of love and set it in motion

Throw out your reason, this love's in season

Sings in the earth and the air that we're breathin'

This is the chapter, a symphony of laughter

That never dies, let it shine, love divine

Read that as you listen to the song - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BFDTPaYQw0A. It makes me really really really happy.

"We're Human BEINGS not Human DOINGS"

Our Friday afternoon Spiritual Guidance class is taught by a woman named Millie. Millie is one of those spunky strong middle aged women that speaks with incredible discernment and keeps everyone waiting in anticipation for her next words of wisdom that leave us in awe of a new way to dwell on our lives... or a witty remark said to make fun of the fact that we're still teenagers. But one line from her class has stuck with me for almost a week now and I can't seem to be able to think about past events without reflecting upon these words. "We're human BEINGS, not human DOINGS." She continued to explain that reflections of our lives should not based upon the events that are taking place, but upon how these said events work to change the people we are.

Learning to Let Go

Well, I guess this is my first step into the vast, and what I currently see as confusing world of online blogging. The confusing aspect is slowly dwindling though (Many of you parents trying to connect into the tretcherous dark realm of facebook probably understand the feeling).

Anyways, I am currently cleaning out my room which to my surprise is becoming a terrifying experience - I know most of you are thinking that I'm talking about the smell/ the pesticide under the pile of dirty clothes that might have actually grown into a living creature with a thirst of blood - but unfortunately no, I'm writing of something much more terrifying than Teddy. I'm writing at the beginning stage of what I see to be a very long learning process of "how to let go." With my parents moving out of the U.S. to the beautiful country of Uganda, Africa; my next destination only being occupied for 2 months, and from which I will be going to another country - I see this process of packing EVERYTHING up to be much more unconventional and daunting than the stereotypical "packing for college" experience.

Through out my 19 years of living I have aquired a plethra of sentimental momentos all of which carry stories of different pieces of my life and all which I am pathetically having a hard time letting go of. It seems that each picture, every goofy birthday card, scratched up cd, or ridiculous note passed to me Jr. year English class has a difficult time prying itself from my grip and taking it's much needed free fall into the trash can. I continually seem to catch myself into thinking that with every item that gets thrown away a memory falls closely behind.

But I quickly learned a good lesson - that's dumb! and the cheesy, cliche - but still so true - message shortly found its way into my head: All that matters is who I am now and the way which I am using every piece that has molded me into the person I am. Fun little sentimental memories are great but if I put too much stock into the physical objects and make them the only representations of the memories than I am losing sight of the purpose of those memories. I will also be setting myself up for a long stretch of "let downs" as I undergo a series of packing lighter and lighter for the next destination in the next year.